Friends...

I can count on ONE hand how many close friends I have. And trust me, I'm not using all five fingers. The fact is, although I know a lot of people, not too many people know the real me. Not too many people know my story.

I will not use this post to provide you with a bio. I will, however, take this time to speak about FRIENDS! Me being a 20-something black female in DC, it's so easy to meet new people, make new connections, etc. I can almost do this with my eyes close. And through these connections, I may be able to make a “friend” or two. But as times goes by, so do the friendship.

This seems to be the typical story amongst people in my age group. As with many things in life, things fall apart. And most of the time, it’s not because someone did something wrong to the other. I am very aware that sh*t happens.

One of the things I’ve noticed is this idea that just because it’s on facebook/twitter/myspace it has to be true. I honestly believe that social networking has changed friendships. People read your facebook page and think they know everything there is to know about you. I honestly still believe that the majority of us have an online personality. And most of the time, it doesn’t really match with what someone sees in person. I’ll save that particular topic for another time though.

I remember a while back I posted a quiz online with basic questions about me. Questions such as where I was born; where I went to school; etc. NO ONE GOT more than a 50%. I'm not expecting everyone to score 100%, but damn.

I recently spoke to this guy that I’ve known for years and he asked if I knew when his birthday was. So I quickly went on facebook in hopes of finding this information. Big FAIL! He informed me that he closed his facebook account. So of course I felt like a donkey's behind because I relied so much on this website to give me all the information I needed to know about those that I considered a "friend".

It is possible that the definition of friendship as I see it, is not necessarily the way others do. Friendship (to me) is more than hanging out with someone. A friend won’t put you to the side when they find themselves romantically involved with someone. A friend just calls to say hello and talk for the sake of talking, rather than calling to see if you’re available to go to a club/lounge/etc.

I am very comfortable with the small group of people I call my friends, because I do know that they care about my best interests.

Doing Too Much Too Soon

Ever encountered that guy that's doing too much too soon? You know the type! The one that you went on a date with and he decides to call, text, facebook, tweet and email you all within a 24 hour period. The worst part about this is imagine if you did enjoy the first date and you were looking forward to seeing him again, but the constant communication is just way too overwhelming, so you put him on your "DO NOT RESPOND" list.

In this day and age, we are filled with various ways to communicate with an individual. Just recently, there was this a surge of users on an instant messenger known as kik. (I did try kik for about a week and I quickly realized it just wasn't for me). Kik, like blackberry messenger (BBM) allows the user to see when your message was sent, delivered and read. This makes ignoring someone a little akward. Honestly, I could really give a rat's behind if you know that I read your message. If I do not respond, please don't send me another message. At this point, you're becoming a nuisance.

And that's the thing. If I don't respond via text, please do not send me a facebook message, email, tweet, etc. I'm not saying you need to wait for me to respond, but really I'm saying you need to wait on me to respond. Most of the time, I'm usually doing something when I receive the message so I am unable to carry on a convo. But I do my best to get back to you.

I know the post may come off as a bit harsh, but this is one of my biggest pet peeves. Although there are various ways to communicate with one person, that does not mean you should use all forms of communication to say hello. A simple text may do the the trick. Or just ask the individual what's their preferred method of communicating. Maybe there's a woman out there that enjoys that. I'm just not that one..