Tomorrow May Never Come

I always find it hard to express my innermost feelings to a love one. When I want to have that special talk, I tend to rehearse in my head what I'm going to say and exactly how I'm going to say it.

Some may say I over-analyze everything. If I have something to say, why not just say it? Well, that's something I'm currently working on.

In the past few years, I've had some friends (and a former love interest) pass away. Prior to, I didn't get a chance to speak to them to tell them how much they meant to me. Nowadays, when someone dies, everyone flocks to their Facebook page to express how much that person meant to them. I'm also guilty of this. A part of me is hoping they see this 2-page post I added to their Facebook wall. I know I will never get a response from them, but I still do it.

I'm not saying that doing this is wrong, I just think that we (or should I say "I") need to do better. Why do we wait until it's too late? Why not just say it then?

Like I said, it's something that I'm working on.

Random & Not-So Random Thoughts

Therapy is Needed
There's so much on mind, but I'm not exactly sure what to do to make it go away. I find myself losing sleep because of it. I just want to go back to the days when I didn't have much to worry about. Where the only thing that I had to think about was "what to wear today".

Granted, my worries are far from severe. Especially in comparison to others, but it's something I'm hoping can just go away. I may need to seek professional help to find out why I have these thoughts in my head. I do think that when you have the same thoughts/dreams over and over, there is a reason for it. Maybe I just need to go to church and pray on it.

Relationships on Facebook
I frequent Facebook. Although I don't do much updating, I generally just browse through my feed and photos and see what's going on the lives of others. While doing so, I always find these amazing pictures of couples around my age having the best time of their lives. I guess the thing that separates me from them is the fact that I am very hesitant about putting my relationship on social networks. I find that the minute that it's over, the world knows and it makes the breakup even harder. I'm happy with the person I'm with, but I don't necessarily feel the need to broadcast for the world to read. Trust me, there are times when I just want to go on his page and just tell the world... but I'm thinking... "Why?". Why not just tell him face-to-face or on the phone. The world does not need to know.

The "L" Word
Do you remember the first time you told a boyfriend/girlfriend that you loved them? Do you remember what he/she said? Or was it the other way around? Did they tell you first? What was your reaction? These are questions that will never have the same answers. I really do not recall when I first said the "L" word in past relationships. I do believe I've only told one person that I loved them. And it just sorta happened. No letter was written, no movie-style moment. It was a simple conversation that ended with that word. I'm not sure when I came to the conclusion that I indeed loved this man but I said it (or did he say it first?).

I guess that's all I have for now. I will do my best to keep you guys updated. I'm hoping that blogging might help me express myself more, which may be able to help me get rid of some of my worries.

xoxo