Friends...

I can count on ONE hand how many close friends I have. And trust me, I'm not using all five fingers. The fact is, although I know a lot of people, not too many people know the real me. Not too many people know my story.

I will not use this post to provide you with a bio. I will, however, take this time to speak about FRIENDS! Me being a 20-something black female in DC, it's so easy to meet new people, make new connections, etc. I can almost do this with my eyes close. And through these connections, I may be able to make a “friend” or two. But as times goes by, so do the friendship.

This seems to be the typical story amongst people in my age group. As with many things in life, things fall apart. And most of the time, it’s not because someone did something wrong to the other. I am very aware that sh*t happens.

One of the things I’ve noticed is this idea that just because it’s on facebook/twitter/myspace it has to be true. I honestly believe that social networking has changed friendships. People read your facebook page and think they know everything there is to know about you. I honestly still believe that the majority of us have an online personality. And most of the time, it doesn’t really match with what someone sees in person. I’ll save that particular topic for another time though.

I remember a while back I posted a quiz online with basic questions about me. Questions such as where I was born; where I went to school; etc. NO ONE GOT more than a 50%. I'm not expecting everyone to score 100%, but damn.

I recently spoke to this guy that I’ve known for years and he asked if I knew when his birthday was. So I quickly went on facebook in hopes of finding this information. Big FAIL! He informed me that he closed his facebook account. So of course I felt like a donkey's behind because I relied so much on this website to give me all the information I needed to know about those that I considered a "friend".

It is possible that the definition of friendship as I see it, is not necessarily the way others do. Friendship (to me) is more than hanging out with someone. A friend won’t put you to the side when they find themselves romantically involved with someone. A friend just calls to say hello and talk for the sake of talking, rather than calling to see if you’re available to go to a club/lounge/etc.

I am very comfortable with the small group of people I call my friends, because I do know that they care about my best interests.

Doing Too Much Too Soon

Ever encountered that guy that's doing too much too soon? You know the type! The one that you went on a date with and he decides to call, text, facebook, tweet and email you all within a 24 hour period. The worst part about this is imagine if you did enjoy the first date and you were looking forward to seeing him again, but the constant communication is just way too overwhelming, so you put him on your "DO NOT RESPOND" list.

In this day and age, we are filled with various ways to communicate with an individual. Just recently, there was this a surge of users on an instant messenger known as kik. (I did try kik for about a week and I quickly realized it just wasn't for me). Kik, like blackberry messenger (BBM) allows the user to see when your message was sent, delivered and read. This makes ignoring someone a little akward. Honestly, I could really give a rat's behind if you know that I read your message. If I do not respond, please don't send me another message. At this point, you're becoming a nuisance.

And that's the thing. If I don't respond via text, please do not send me a facebook message, email, tweet, etc. I'm not saying you need to wait for me to respond, but really I'm saying you need to wait on me to respond. Most of the time, I'm usually doing something when I receive the message so I am unable to carry on a convo. But I do my best to get back to you.

I know the post may come off as a bit harsh, but this is one of my biggest pet peeves. Although there are various ways to communicate with one person, that does not mean you should use all forms of communication to say hello. A simple text may do the the trick. Or just ask the individual what's their preferred method of communicating. Maybe there's a woman out there that enjoys that. I'm just not that one..

I've Learned (Part Deux)

"The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them."
-Maya Angelou

Another quote from the GREAT Maya Angelou. To tag on to the last post, I've learned to trust my first instinct. Why am I surprise when sh*t falls apart further down the line? The signs were there. Why did i choose to ignore it? It's the part of life we really have no concrete answer to.

You know this thing is bad, but yet and still you chose to go with it anyway. You know nothing was going to come out of it, yet you still tagged along for the ride (pun intended). I am definitely learning to be more selective in the people that I choose to bring into my life. I have not always made the right choices in the past when it came to men. And you know what, it's not always their fault. I take SOME of the blame. I close my eyes when the signs are there. I continue the "relationship" although, it really wasn't much of one. When will I learn? Oh wait, I am learning! :)

I've Learned...

"I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life. I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life." I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I've learned that I still have a lot to learn. I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
- Maya Angelou

Nothing more to say. Her words says it all.

Right/Wrong

As I sit around waiting for Mr. Right, I'm constantly approached by Mr. Wrong. Maybe it's my fault for allowing these, Mr. Wrong's into my life.

Late Night Thoughts

You give me a feeling that I never felt before
And I deserve it, I think I deserve it
It's becoming something that's impossible to ignore
And I can't take it
I was wondering maybe
Could I make you my baby
If we do the unthinkable would it make us look crazy
If you ask me I'm ready

- Alicia Keys "Un-Thinkable (I'm Ready)"

I absolutely love this song! Aside from Alicia Keys beautiful voice, the words just speak so much to me. I'm all for it! If you're both feeling it (at the moment), why not go for it! Why wait? Nothing in life is guaranteed! Although I am not condoning irresponsible behavior, I do believe that in life, you just have to go with it! Society has so many rules already! How long should I wait before I call him back? When should he meet my family? When should we make it official? It's these little questions that make life way too complicated. I find it so much easier to just go with the flow. If you know it's real, then it will all work itself out. No need to worry about all these damn rules! Live. Laugh.Love!

On to the next one..

"I move onward, the only direction. Can't be scared to fail in search of perfection... But, don't be mad at me, when its on to the next one..."
- Jay-Z

Short & Sweet: "What's up"

So here goes... short & sweet!

If you want to have a conversation with me, TALK! Simple right? I thought so too, however, it seems that a lot of people do not have text/IM/etc. etiquette when it comes to initiating a conversation.

If you hit me up and the conversation goes like this:

You: Hey, what's up?
Me: Nothing much. I'm just at ______. What's up with you?
You: Nothing.
Me: Okay
......

And I'm still waiting on you to continue, but you don't... I may have to ignore the rest of your messages from here on out. If you don't have anything to talk about, don't waste my time!

Random: 3 Bedroom Condo for Rent

So I'm taking this time to help a dear friend of mine out. He's renting his 3 bedroom condo in Columbia Heights (DC). Click here for more information.

If you have anything you want posted, please let me know! =)

Let's Get Motivated!

Short hiatus, but I'm back!

I have absolutely no excuse for not keeping up with my blogging. Since we last spoke, there hasn't been any changes in my life. Still the same ole "not-so" simple life of mine!

Just recently, I started to think about ways that I can change my life for the better. Ways in which I can improve it. I did a couple of volunteering with the local shelter. However, I still felt as though I needed to do more. It's weird to me, because no matter how much I do, I still feel as though I can do more.

I'm not married, no kids.. so I still have this idea in my mind that RIGHT now is the time. Right now is when I decide that I can do anything I put my mind to. I have no restrictions! Well, aside from my work schedule. But even that can be changed.

I need to get moving because time is passing us by (quickly)! Next thing you know, I'll be married with kids complaining about what I should have done while I was still young!

So now is the time to GET MOTIVATED!

Stay blessed! =)

Daily Word - April 12, 2010

Courtesy of DailyWord.com

Faith
I have everything I need--now and always.

In the spring, I have faith that the air will begin to warm and new sprouts and blossoms will appear. This has happened every spring before now, and it will happen every spring to come.

With this same faith, I know that when I am hungry, food will be available. When I am thirsty, my thirst will be quenched. When I am cold, I will have clothing and shelter. Right now, I have everything I need. As I become aware of the truth of this statement, I am able to drop any worries about what is to come. In this moment, I let go of any fear or anxiety about the future and rest in unwavering faith. All is well. I am at peace knowing I have everything I need.
Do not worry, saying, "What will we eat?" or "What will we drink?" or "What will we wear?"--Matthew 6:31

Jill Scott's Take on Interracial Dating

I will save my thoughts for another post, but here is an article that Jill Scott wrote in the April issue of Essence magazine:

My new friend is handsome, African-American, intelligent and seemingly wealthy. He is an athlete, loves his momma, and is happily married to a White woman. I admit when I saw his wedding ring, I privately hoped. But something in me just knew he didn't marry a sister. Although my guess hit the mark, when my friend told me his wife was indeed Caucasian, I felt my spirit...wince. I didn't immediately understand it. My face read happy for you. My body showed no reaction to my inner pinch, but the sting was there, quiet like a mosquito under a summer dress.

Was I jealous? Did the reality of his relationship somehow diminish his soul's credibility? The answer is not simple. One could easily dispel the wince as racist or separatist, but that's not how I was brought up. I was reared in a Jehovah's Witness household. I was taught that every man should be judged by his deeds and not his color, and I firmly stand where my grandmother left me. African people worldwide are known to be welcoming and open-minded. We share our culture sometimes to our own peril and most of us love the very notion of love. My position is that for women of color, this very common "wince" has solely to do with the African story in America.

When our people were enslaved, "Massa" placed his Caucasian woman on a pedestal. She was spoiled, revered and angelic, while the Black slave woman was overworked, beaten, raped and farmed out like cattle to be mated. She was nothing and neither was our Black man. As slavery died for the greater good of America, and the movement for equality sputtered to life, the White woman was on the cover of every American magazine. She was the dazzling jewel on every movie screen, the glory of every commercial and television show. She was unequivocally the standard of beauty for this country, firmly unattainable to anyone not of her race. We daughters of the dust were seen as ugly, nappy mammies, good for day work and unwanted children, while our men were thought to be thieving, sex-hungry animals with limited brain capacity.

We reflect on this awful past and recall that if a Black man even looked at a White woman, he would have been lynched, beaten, jailed or shot to death. In the midst of this, Black women and Black men struggled together, mourned together, starved together, braved the hoses and vicious police dogs and died untimely on southern back roads together. These harsh truths lead to what we really feel when we see a seemingly together brother with a Caucasian woman and their children. That feeling is betrayed. While we exert efforts to raise our sons and daughters to appreciate themselves and respect others, most of us end up doing this important work alone, with no fathers or like representatives, limited financial support (often court-enforced) and, on top of everything else, an empty bed. It's frustrating and it hurts!

Our minds do understand that people of all races find genuine love in many places. We dig that the world is full of amazing options. But underneath, there is a bite, no matter the ointment, that has yet to stop burning. Some may find these thoughts to be hurtful. That is not my intent. I'm just sayin'.

Thoughts? Do you agree? Disagree?

Today's Topic - Love Lost

When your love is lost
Your whole worlds thrown off
When the one you need don't need you
What do you do when love is lost

-Trey Songz "Love Lost"

Many of you already know that I am ABSOLUTELY in LOVE with Trey Songz. His voice, his words.. his...! Okay, I'll keep it PG! :) During my commute into work today, I had his album on blast! I always get emotional when "Love Lost" comes on. It reminds me of pain. The pain of a breakup! Believe it or not, I have experienced a few breakups in my 25 years on this earth. And believe me, it's not something that anyone wants to go through, but really, what can you do? Relationships can only work if two people are on the same level.

Some may think I don't seem to have a worry in the world. But really, I worry if I may end up being alone. I worry that one day I'm going to give my all to a guy, just to have it thrown in my face. I can hear it now... Oh girl, you're still young! You have soooo much more to experience! You have a point, however, I like to be prepared. That's just the type of person I am! I pack a week before a trip! If I have to experience five more breakups before I meet my future, then I would like to fast forward because my poor little heart can't take it.

The breakups that I've dealt with in the past have been a learning experience for me. Never do I dwell on the past of what could have been. I usually just dust off and carry on as if nothing happened. This sounds good, however, I need to learn to express myself more...with tears, with words... with action! I find that I bottle so much in, that the first chance I get to talk about it, I just collapse. Not literally of course.

Many people may see me as a strong person. The girl that could care less if a guy doesn't call me back. Yes, that's true to some extent, but even I get sad when someone I'm really interested in does not share that same interest.

You can say that I need to find love in God and everything else will follow. This is true! However, I do believe that we were put on this earth to LOVE someone. And with love, of course comes happiness.

I just want to be happy!

Breaking News!!!

Breaking News: House passes Senate version of health-care bill

The House has approved the Senate version of the health-care bill in 219 to 210 vote. This bill now goes to President Obama for his signature.

Event: Top 30 Under 30

Another FYI - I am the Young Professionals Grant Management Chair for Capital Cause. If you can make it, please do so! It's going to be a wonderful event and any support would be greatly appreciated. For more information, please visit www.capitalcause.com.

:::::: TOP 30 UNDER 30 YOUNG PROFESSIONALS RECEPTION ::::::
Date: Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Time: 6:30pm - 9:30pm
Location: Midtown Lofts (1219 Connecticut Avenue, NW, DC, 20009)
Attire: Business or Cocktail
Confirmed Guests: DC City Council members, WKYS